Joseph Papa and the Crater of Death
at 45 Road
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Terror on the tracks? If only it were that! No, the Problem Resolvers were called in this time to deal with Terror on the Platform! That's right, as if the conditions of our subway system weren't deplorable enough, we got a tip that there was a man-eating crater at the 45 Road, Courthouse Square station on the 7 line, causing people to seriously injure themselves, and look foolish in the process. Being the kind, upstanding citizens that we are, the Problem Resolvers couldn't just sit on the issue, so we decided to investigate, and get to the root of the problem!
What we found however was just despicable, and something we at the Problem Resolvers could never have anticipated. A hole of enormous size, that led down from the elevated platform to the street below. An accomplice in murder, just waiting for a victim, we knew this thing had to be taken care of, and we didn't care how we did it!
We tracked down negligent station superintendent Joseph Papa*, to try to find out just what the deal was about this law suit waiting to happen, however all we got was the runaround... literally! Watch the video, as you see this rat scramble around, hard pressed to answer our questions, and eventually just dismissing us as "average passengers." That bastard!
We stayed on the platform for hours upon hours, watching countless victims get their feet swallowed up by the hole, causing them to lose balance and hurt themselves. Hopefully with the availability of this report on the Internet, future accidents will be prevented.
* - we did not track down the real Joseph Papa, nor did we ever attempt to make contact with him in any manner whatsoever. Any references or portrayals to, or of, Joseph Papa represented in the report are merely fictitious, and may or may not represent the real Joseph Papa.
Our anonymous tipster demands a resolution to this problem!
The Death Crater™.
Joseph Papa scrambling to get away from our cameras.